Being Blessed

My wife loves to blog.  Myself … not so much.  It’s a generational thing I think, or something related to the latest in technology in the bits &bytes industry.  However, I have had occasion (once before) to write.  This time it was a … feeling … impulse … or mandate?  I’m not sure.  So, I had to write and respond about my loving and gracious brides blog posted yesterday.

Being Blessed

Dictionary.com defines being as:  the fact of existing.  It defines blessed as:  divinely or supremely favored.  So, in essence, Cora and I are in the act of existing in the divinely or supremely favored.  Wow … what a concept!

Let me try to explain where I am coming from.  Three weeks ago, my back went out on me in what my chiropractor called a “facet syndrome”.  Extremely painful, cured by lots of ice and bed rest.  During this unscheduled hiatus, I managed to relieve some of the pressure on my wife that she must deal with through the week while I am working.  It also allowed me to bond with the new dogs, our kids, as they got out of the vet for major health issues needing attention.  This time also allowed me time to indulge one of my passions … spoiling my wife.  Dinner, flowers, cleaning the house, doing laundry, etc.  (Hey, I have been a bachelor for over 48 years, I can do a lot of things around the house better than my wife can.  It’s called experience.)  She, in turn has been freed up to indulge in one of her passions, that of getting the family finances into order, so we can see what we what we need to do to live debt free and how soon it will take us to get there.  Thank you Dave Ramsey!

In the mean time, with our taxes paid and the returns deposited, we pay off bills, debts, buy supplies, budget for projects, upgrade things needing upgrading, remove that which needs removing, etcetera-etcetera-etcetera.  Then, when all is quiet, an overwhelming  wave of gratitude washes over me for the things that I have in my life.  It completely amazes me.

The winter of 2009 was probably one of my darkest in quite awhile. Nothing bad, just the basic struggles of an old bachelor trying to get used to the same old idea of curmudgeon-hood, and not liking its prospects.  Then Cora takes me up on my offer of exploring a relationship.  Needless to say, by September ‘10 we are married and in full throttle living by the winter of 2010.  Then a touch of reality sets in with my back.

So why do I consider myself blessed?  First, when I was five years old at a Good News Club, God grabbed a hold of me. He will never let me go.  Second, I was given a young lady of grace and beauty by my God, to love me in spite of my flaws and foibles that she saw.  I was given a house in which to live and stay warm in.  I was given a job to financially support all that has been given to me.  I have a family that loves me (at least they claim too!) and chooses to hang out with me when they can.  I have friends and a church family that care about me.

Why all of these?  I believe it is because God has blessed Cora and myself.  I am so grateful for all of God’s tender mercies and His loving grace.  Is it any wonder why I have been obsessing on the song that Cora posted:  Matt Redman’s “Blessed Be Your Name”.  I know what I have is because God gave it to me.  I did not earn it, I did not deserve it, and I did not even know I could have it.  Yet God chose to bless me with these things.

What if God should choose to take all of these things from me? All of these were given to me by a loving and gracious God.  They are His to begin with.  They are His to take back as He sees fit.  I am reminded how Job responded when God allowed Satan to have control of everything in his life.  Job had lost everything but his wife.

Job 1:21-He said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there.  The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.  Blessed be the name of the LORD."

Would I, could I be like Job and bless the Lord should this happen to me?  I can’t answer that with certainty.  I can tell you what I want my answer to be.  My only request is that I be true to the loving God who has granted to me this life of grace, mercy, and loving kindness.  That in my response His name will be glorified, honored, and praised.

I hope you have understood what I wanted to say.  Thank you for taking the time to read this short commentary on my many blessings.  And Cora … you are my greatest gift from God, except my salvation.  I love you my beloved.  To the rest of you, may His peace and mercy be with you as you go about the rest of your week.

Duane

I’m baaaaack. :)

If I really detailed all that’s been happening, this’d take
a while, but I’ll try to just hit the highlights.

First of all the big news. Last weekend we took the “kids” up to my parent’s house and celebrated 2 birthdays (Paul’s and Anna’s) and 2 engagements. Of course we didn’t know
we were celebrating two engagements when we left here, but my two oldest brothers had different plans. Seth is bringing Ashton into the family, and Paul will give Mishayla the Johnson name. We’re excited for them, and look forward to getting to know them better! (Though I feel sorry for them having to figure out how to handle the whole Johnson gang… maybe I can give them a few tips). Oh and they said this was public, but if they tell you the news themselves, you didn’t hear it from me. J

The second biggest news is that Duane’s finally back to work. After two weeks of resting his back, he’s been chugging along in the truck since Sunday. He’s already been from Medford to Paso Robles, CA to Bakersfield, to Jerome, ID, to White City, OR, to San Jose, to Stockton, and tonight he’ll be home! That boy puts on the miles! And I’m thankful for it!!!

Thoughts…

For some reason, I’ve been thinking a little bit about how we handle hard situations. I’ve had some pretty traumatic experiences, and then I’ve had those times where nothing’s really “Wrong”, I just feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the little things thrown together with no time to “process”. They’re so different, and yet so often God has the same answer.

I realized I was dealing with the lighter battle this week, with a lot of little things getting together to overwhelm me. There were really good things, I had my feelings hurt, I experienced normal changes of the seasons of life, I mourned a friend moving, and sometimes my heart just hurt for my friend who is going through hard times. By themselves I would have looked at each thing, realized that I could trust God in that, and then go on. Instead, I “stuffed” each thing as the next wave came. Eventually that ocean washed over me and I couldn’t handle anymore.

2 things I know in the physical realm that could have helped me handle this: making sure I was healthy both physically and spiritually. If I had done a better job of that, I’m sure God would have reminded me THEN of the truth he grabbed me with over the last couple of days. Though there are parallel passages, God chose to grab me with Luke 12:22-31. Here are the parts that I highlighted (read the whole thing from the Bible for the best context!!!): “…do not worry about your life… how much more valuable you are than the birds! And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span? …why do you worry about other matters? …how much more will He clothe you? And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying. …but your Father knows that you need these things. BUT SEEK HIS KINGDOM, AND THESE THINGS WILL BE ADDED TO YOU.” Again, context makes it even better, and I have the whole passage printed up and taped to the cupboard door in the kitchen. But think about it. 1. Worry won’t help and 2. My job is to
stay focused on HIM. And 3. He’ll take care of the rest. Many times I don’t even realize I’m worrying until I’ve already started the spiral down. But if I’m doing step 2, staying focused on Him, I won’t be spiraling so quickly. It’s SOOOOO important to stay tight with Him, and obedient to his commands.

But lets take the more intense kinds of situations. Those situations where all you can do is cry out with the only word you can even think to moan: “Why?” I’ve been in those spots. And I’m sure you have been too. For me, that was most vivid when I discovered the lifeless body of my elderly neighbor after he committed suicide. I knew he wasn’t in heaven, and I couldn’t erase the gory image from my mind even to sleep. I didn’t even need the answer
to the questions, but all I could do is moan “WHY?” That’s the image that instantly came to my mind when I read a portion from Elizabeth Elliot’s biography of Amy Carmichael “A Chance to Die”. As Amy was trying to process the death of a strong leader in their mission, on the heels of 2 other deaths, and preceeding 2 other deaths of those close to her (including her mother) within a year’s time, here is what she said.

Kind people, wanting to console, made the usual observation: “It is very hard to see how this can be for the best.”

“We are not asked to SEE,” said Amy, “Why need we when we KNOW?” We know – not the answer to the inevitable Why, but the incontestable fact that it is for the best.”It is an irreparable loss, but is it faith at all if it is ‘hard to trust’ when things are entirely bewildering?”

As I talked with some friends yesterday, I shared how often I pray for the grace of just a glimpse of the big picture: just enough to show physical proof that God is working in the spiritual realm. But as they reminded me, I KNOW that I have no right to see HOW He is at work. It is my job only to trust. But it makes me ever so much more grateful for those times when he chooses to bless me with that glimpse.

Another time I was called on to make a choice between two people I loved with all my heart. I knew that no matter how I chose, my heart would be broken, and my relationship with one or both would be ended indefinitely. To console myself I went to the one way I could communicate with or without words: the piano. As I played, I remember sobbing out the words from Job: whether I sang them or not, I couldn’t say, but my heart poured out through the music of the song “Blessed Be Your Name”

Can you honestly sing with me and find that same peace?

Blessed Be Your Name

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Will you join Duane and I as we prayerfully and honestly sing the last lines?

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

So I haven't forgotten...

Hey all, this isn't really a post. It's a figment of your imagination, since I'm STILL too busy to sit down and write anything, and I wanted you to know that. :)
Duane's been home for 2 weeks with his hurt back, and that's enough to keep me busy, but 3 dogs recovering from surgeries, moving in an office, working late, hosting company 2 weekends in a row, and buying, cutting, packaging, and freezing a BUNCH of meat has kept us running. And now we're off to celebrate birthdays in Elmira, OR with the WHOLE family. So when I can, I will definitely report back, but this non-post will have to do for now. Thanks for checking in!